I am, I WAS!

I was happy. I went to buy some gifts for my parents anniversary as I planned a huge surprise party for them .On my way back home, suddenly something happened and I found myself lying on  the ground in severe pain. My body was badly hurting. I didn’t know what was happening to me. I wasn’t able to move nor could I see. I could only hear people running and screaming for help. My mind was totally jammed, I didn’t have control over myself.

Again I heard a loud explosion that gave me strong jerk and then there was complete silence all around. Within seconds, I recalled my life and realized I wasn’t prepared for my life after death! I did nothing to secure my ending! I always thought about myself. I was selfish. I barely helped anyone. I did nothing for my parents who brought me up, who overcame all the obstacles so that I could have a better life, who taught  how to walk, speak!

I never thought of prayers as an obligation. I always became deaf on hearing the Azan; I became blind seeing people going towards Mosque. I was as ignorant as the people whom were regarded as deaf, dumb, and blind by Allah. As far as Quran is concerned, it was always there in my room but it seemed more as a decoration piece rather than a reading BOOK.. I realized na may dunya ki hoo na may akhraat ki..na manay dunya k lia kuch kia and na akhrat k lia…!  A war lost on both ends.

I was thinking about all this when someone dragged me. I never thought people will  behave with me like this after my death.They were all so good to me just a while ago! After all did I ever help anybody or did anything for anyone? i could expect this behavior. I was mean, rude to all those under me. It was there time now. I heard someone searching for me and as that person got near, he burst into cry. He was actually my father!

I wasn’t aware what was happening until I was given Ghusul(bath) and was taken back to my own house in my very own bedroom, a room filled of people who were  crying. I felt guilty hearing those whom I never payed any heed to. I wanted to apologize to all. I did hurt them a lot. I wish I knew they loved me so much. I was so helpless, lying there like a rotten piece of flesh. I never knew that these people I had invited to my parent’s anniversary, will  turn into the guests for my own funeral! I knew nothing!!

I tried to recite Kalma but I realized I didn’t even remember it. This was the time I became sure I am a looser of my THIS life and LIFE after death! I wished the way I prepared for this party, I would have prepared for my life after that too! I wished I would have offered prayer and recited Quran! I wished if I had showed any act of kindness or respect I wouldn’t be in this condition. I wished I would have helped anyone! I wished and I wished but all in vain as everything was finished now! I was finished!



5 thoughts on “I am, I WAS!

  1. Wafa, you are such a good writer Masha Allah! Very well written and a true depiction of how helpless we will be after death. Allah hum sab ko aakhirat ki tayyari ki taufiq de! Ameen


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