I am surrounded by my closed ones who involve relatives and my friends and some others too. I am standing trying to see far away. I can see my desired goals in front of me. I can even see my hobbies and my interests within my reach. I know I can grab all of them. In fact I have ALREADY grabbed most of them. I am holding them in my hands. I can feel them there.. but.. they keep on slipping from my hands.
If something drops, I try to pick it up! But sometimes it’s difficult to pick it back. There are also times when my whole power just drain out to AGAIN pick it up! Whenever any wanderer come, he give it back to me but most of them come and take it with them leaving me barehanded again.
I am not able to keep it near me..I just can’t…There is a huge see-through sheet in front of me acting as a barrier with wide hole at mid of it through which I can take only my hands out. I have grabbed everything from this small hole.. This sheet isn’t allowing me to achieve what I want. I can see everything from that stained sheet. My interests, hobbies..my work..my achievements… people who are achieving. I wish to be there… I want to achieve too…I want to excel too…I know I can do…I have potential to do …but…I can JUST SEE!
Ammm… Yes! I can easily take my hands out of it but I will have to drop everything which took lots of struggle and almost my whole life to collect. I tried to break this barrier many times but failed. I am on mercy of others. I want someone else to break this sheet, I want someone to hold my things and ask me to get out of it. I want someone to hold my hand and show me the path otherwise I will have to go back where I was. The place called “STONEAGE” where I will have to again sit in corner. Afraid of everyone! Afraid to compete!
But then I think there is no use if THAT someone comes. What can one person do when a strong force is behind me pulling? Wanting me to leave everything and come back? Want me to leave my goals, my achievements?? Isn’t allowing me to take step?
I am holding my Interests, I am TRYING to hold them all…but constant pulling from them isn’t allowing me to have a tight hold on them. A person who see me trying, who see that this person really wants to do something comes and encourages me …gives me some suggestions… and go… Some come and pull me hard, they are the one who really want to see me get out of it but who can wait for long? Others criticize and discourage twice the previous ones encouraged and go! They do their work leaving me standing all HOPELESS!
This is how my life is passing with many up and downs..I can feel that gradually I am losing all my courage, all positivity which was in me. I want to give up everything. Every little thing I do.
These are the thoughts of an empty vessel, the me who tries to grab everything within reach, tries to climb all the mountains alone, tries to hoop through all struggles by myself without realizing that God is the only one who could do that….But then I consider again and think closely….that’s when I see a ray of sunshine, a glimmer of hope and the ability to achieve.. That’s through MY FAITH IN GOD!… He is who makes me something, shows me the path and guides me to destinations where I achieve what I want. There is no person that could ever do that, it’s just the power of my God…and trust me real Faith is where it’s ALL at. Without Him,
Who am I? I am NO ONE,
Where am I? NO WHERE
What I am? Absolutely NOTHING