Ya Allah, today you again gave me chance to repent on my deeds. Ya Allah. You love me so much..yet I keep disobeying you ya Allah.
Ya Allah. I keep on sinning and sinning and still you give me toufeeq to stand infront of you. To do some khidmah of your deen. Ya Allah accept it from me. Ya Allah. I don’t want to be among those who on the day of Qayamah will have so many Ae’maal but those aemaal will have no weight and they will directly land in Jahhanam. Ya Allah save-me from hell fire. Ya Allah save-me from Riyaa, ujub, takabur ya Allah. Eliminate all the diseases of heart from my heart ya Allah. Ya Allah today I heard in bayan that there are some people in this dunya who does not even cry after committing sin then there are some who cry after committing sin and then there are those people who cry after doing good deeds because they are worried if their deeds will be accepted by Allah. Ya Allah. You and I know where does I belong. Ya Allah.
He also said, two things cannot reside in heart at the same time. Ya Allah, I am afraid to accept that dunya and its mohabbah is wayyy too much in my heart ya Allah that I can feel that I have made myself a living dead person. Ya Allah take me out from it. Ya Allah. I am sick and tired of hypocrisy ya Allah. Hypocrisy of my nafs. I am not giving Dhoka to anyone accept myself ya Allah. I don’t know what lazzat I get by doing sins.
Ya Allah, people think that I am too good but they don’t know my reality ya Allah. I am worst than an overflowing gutter. Ya Allah sometimes I want to just jhinjhoro-fy myself that what has happened to me. What is wrong with me. I am so sick of myself ya Allah. Just tired and sick of myself. And I have made myself like this. With my own hands. No pressure. Its my own intention. I am so disappointed with myself ya Allah. You can only save me ya Allah.
And you know what ya Allah. I do admit that no matter what ever I do. It does not satisfy my curiosity but enhances it more. Why? Because I know I am wrong. Ya Allah save me. Khuda please. Pyaray Rab. Please. You can do it only. Please
I want you and only you in my heart ya Allah. You are my sukoon ya Allah. Give me sukoon.
My World! 