I am a Stranger. You are a STRANGER.



You meet people and they have an effect on you, but their presence in your life proves to be temporary. But then again, everyone’s presence in your life is temporary. It’s just that you expect some people to hang around longer than they do, and disappointment comes with setting up expectations.

You begin to enjoy their presence, look forward to their company, and next thing you know, they’re gone. You relied on their presence for a certain emotion, and you associated that emotion with them. You lose that emotion when it’s gone, and that emotion was a large part of you.

They were a large part of you because they became part of who you were. That’s the problem, we rely on people when we shouldn’t. We get attached when we shouldn’t. We fancy their presence, whether they’re a friend or a lover, when we shouldn’t.

We should enjoy their company for the time being, but it’s deadly when you get used to someone. It becomes a tragedy when they leave, because you allowed them to become a part of you. And nothing is worse than seeing them leave, because you’re watching a part of you walk away. 

And the only thing you can do is start over with yourself. But this time, grow on your own. Don’t rely on anyone else because everyone has a temporary presence in your life. Nobody can assure you how long they’ll stay. Nobody knows when their time will come, or when duty calls and they’re gone. Because as Ibn Taymiyyah says “Even your shadow leaves you in darkness.”

And after it’s all said and done, we go back to being strangers.

Everyone changes, and you’re not the same person you were yesterday. I’m not the same person I was an hour ago. I’ll look back at this, and I’m not who I was, when I wrote this.

Even I will be a stranger to myself, somebody that I once knew and was well accustomed to being around. If I don’t keep up with you and you don’t keep up with me, then we no longer know one another.

And we become strangers. And who knows, we might have been meant to be strangers all along. And you might have been sent to guide me and then depart.

I am a Stranger and You are a Stranger. That is the reality of life.

-inspired by TheMuslimMatters


Depth of an Ocean.


Depth of an Ocean

Imagine an ocean and different type of people with the same vision to touch the depth.

1- Person who is afraid of ocean. When a person can’t touch the surface of water, how can they touch the depth.

2- Person who is ready to dive but cannot reach the depth because he doesn’t know how to swim.

3- Person who know how to dive, who know how to swim, who have the courage, who have the confidence required but he doesn’t have the support.

His peers think that this person will get drowned. They do not understand that by not letting him dive; they are not only restricting him to explore a new world but they are also making him loose his confidence which he has in himself.

Why does all want to reach the depth of ocean? Because  they know that to attain anything you have to touch the depth, you have to explore a new world. You have to come out of your comfort zone.

Let people do what they want to do. Let them explore. Let them experience. Let them change the name of “Mistakes”  with “Experiences”. I know you care but you have to believe that they can do it. Atleast he is better than the first two. Remmember not everyone is born with the silver spoon in their mouth

By the way,  It is okay to break. It is okay.


Car or Chinchi?

I was just wondering what is best for me? Travelling in car or in chingchi. Like I will face risk in both the situations. My family will be with me both the times. The difference would be that if I hit by some accident, I will be killer of my family and if we will be in chinchi or rickshaw, the driver will be responsible. But then if I analyze it more then there is less chances of death in car accident as it is covered and chinchi and rickshaw is not covered. But then if I hit my car and we don’t die then we will have to pay for it. Dad will also scold and he won’t trust me with driving. What should I do?

Sometimes life feels so messed up. If we gather small small things and analyze them, we will feel that everything is like a spider-web; connected to each other.  Every solution is connected to million problems and vice versa.

Sometimes I don’t understand myself. I think so negative at times. What would have happened if I wouldn’t have discussed about death in first paragraph? But it seems the word “death” is attached to my every sentence now and then. Is it because I am not afraid or I am very much afraid inside or I am getting too practical now. Death is something which no one can do anything about. We should be prepared at every time. So why should I feel shame saying “If I have to die, I will die infront of you and you won’t be able to do anything”. Yeh! Thats right! Accept  the fact!

Well today was the second time, I had accident. When you do something, you have to experience it. You have to face the world and you have to face all consequences. I don’t care about myself as compare to I care about car and family. When I am driving, I am responsible. But what can I do about those who don’t accept their mistake. They hit my car and put blame on me. Like fine! I don’t give  a damn who you think the fault is. I want money of the destruction you made to my car. Then you come being all “chowra” because you have luxury car Heliex. But you don’t have eyes to see? and most importantly YOU ARE DRUNK!! Bloody Drunker!

I dun know how many more experiences life has for me to tackle. Then people say I am transforming into boy. *Clapping*

Come and live my life please!

Missing Thoughts.


There are some people, no matter how much you try to forget, you end up missing them more and more each day! You know its been a long time. You know it is enough of explanations and clarifications. You know everything but still you feel perplexed. You feel something missing. Why? Because you don’t know the other side of story.

Sometimes the yelling and blaming part is quite satisfying. At least, you get to know what is going on at the other side.  There are very few people who say what they actually want to say. Usually people just forgo the moment. They think of the impression which they will leave and forget about other things which should be kept in consideration too.

The more complicated situation is not to have any conversation after clarification. The awkwardness and most important the feeling of being a BIG SINNER bugs you every time.

But then maybe it has to be like this. Maybe this is how it goes. Maybe this is what life is. You don’t have authority over anyone. It is their choice. You can’t go on spending your life thinking about one thing.. You have to remove it from your mind. Now, it is your responsibility to do it no matter how you do.

My small small wishes!


I like to have small small wishes so that I can use them as a ladder to achieve big ones. I had so many wishes written in my diary, Alhamdullilah I have achieved many, some are still in process. Others still seems far away from my reach.

Below are some wishes I remember I have achieved. I will add others later.

–          To compete in Naat competition

Actually I recited Naat many times on different occasions. But I wasn’t able to take part in any of Naat competition. But there was a play in school. I recited there. It was enough for me.

–          Ipod

–          Mobile

–          Mobile with camera

Okay these three wishes got fulfilled when I was in college. I had to struggle a lot for “Mobile camera” because I was craazzzy photographer.

–          To give speech and to have standing ovation

Okay to give speech was BIG. I represent my whole matric batch in front of school. I gave farewell speech and out of expectations I got standing ovation  Students crying. I can never forget that event.

–        To have a big crowd in front of me.

In university, in front of around 600 people, I recited naat. That was big. It was my birthday too. Okay I know every small thing is big for me. Whatever 😛 I like to take things like this.

I was a host for Cube event. That was fabulous  I never knew I will have to host the program but “fortunately” their host got absent. And I got the mic. 😀

–          To have cute cute chicks ^_^

I bought three colorful chicks. They were so cute. They used to follow me everywhere. Chu chu chu.. I loved them. They loved me. We were happy family until one died because of my fault and gradually others started becoming weak and they died too. I miss them. I want more!

–          DSLR

I got it a year ago. I was crazy for it. This was the actual wish I ever put in front of my family.  I saved all my money for it. When you don’t have anything, you carve for it. When you have it, you don’t value it. This is the case with me.

–       Bahria Lipdub Official Photographer

Heading is enough explainable. 😀 .. I loved the senior batch I worked with. I wish I could have more time with them.

–          Nose pierced

I always loved nose piercing but I never wanted to have It before I get commited. Now I am engaged and my nose is pierced. By the way don’t ever go alone for piercing. It sucks for about half an hour. Believe me.

–          To have my room- wall painted

I always wanted my own room with my own type of setting. And One wall painted. I got my separate room years ago but wall got painted some months back.

–          To have my own dressing table with every kind of perfumes

Yes I am perfumes freak. I love perfumes and deodorants. Though I like stuff toys too. Whatever.

–          My blog to be well known

I wasn’t aware of the name blog until my friend made it for me. After then I just wanted it to be well known. It is still in process. But I guess I have achieved pretty much.

–          To have my article published in any magazine

Okay so this is going step by step. I got blog. Then my first article was published in PKwriter, The Brands, then Circles Magazine then Identity Magazine then News Tribe and then the online magazines list goes on.

–          To have my story published in a book

After I got published myself in online magazines, I wanted to have my works hardcopy. I seriously struggled a lot for this. I failed many times. Like many. I am still failing though. Thanks to my friends who never stopped pushing me.

I wrote a “ghatyaaessst” LONGEST story on Karachi city and got published by “oxford University Press”. Though they have edited it like hell. And I don’t like it at all. But still I have my hard copy in my hand. That is what I wished for. And to be honest Oxford University Press is not a small thing. Come ‘on!

P.s- After seeing edited version, I love my unedited version 😛

Well this wish doesn’t end here. I am still trying my articles to get publish. Still one of my article is submitted. I am ready for accepting failures. 🙂

–          To have blog award.

Actually this wasn’t my wish. A fan of my blog suggested me to get nominated in Pakistan Blog Awards and out of no where I got the award. It was really unexpected. RREALLY UNEXPECTED!

I just wrote this .. I never wrote my feelings out. Because I know deep in my heart. This blog is “ashaan” on me

–          <censored wish>

It is done. Shutup. I am not telling it. -_-

–          To have surprise birthday

My college friends gave me this party. 😀 It was fun. Though I knew this is going to happen but I still pretended it was surprise because I knew they wanted this way and they knew I wanted surprise. So yes! 😛 lets say compromise 😀

I wrote about one of the surprises here given by my uni frnds.

–          To make my parents proud by giving them a special invitation for my any award ceremony.

I want to keep this wish till I die. The first time my parents got invitation was when I was in my first grade then in third grade for getting positions in my class. The last time they got invitation was in fifth when I took part in play told above.

I moved from Saudia and came to Pakistan, had long gap until I was in matric and my parents got official appointment from school to sign a form for “suspension” ..hahah.. Yes I was suspended for two weeks. Forget about the reason 😛

The day I came back from suspension was the day my previous ninth grade result got announced and I was topper of my school. And the same management called my parents to congratulate. Haaaa! -_-

And recently we went to book launccch. A special invitation was received for the story published by Oxford University Press.

– To drive car like full chichori.. I don’t want to drive but to fly! (yes I know how to drive which was my wish. My new wish to drive without getting afraid. I dont want to be a typical “woman-driving” typeee)

This is sdone.. like DONE DONE. details here

– One day I will pick up my friends and will go on long drive ( I know this is going to happen soon- InshaALLAH)

This is done too ! at 8th March 2012 😀 I picked my friends and went to uni then khapppaaa

If I talk about my wishes that are not yet fulfilled. Not achieved yet. SO here they are

– To be a real GOOD muslim (I am seriously saying it. I don’t know if I am working on it. I am confused.)

– To have my solo novel  (I am working on it but I am lazier than a turtle)

– To do bungeee jumping (yes I know I will have to ask my husband for this -_- )


I can’t think of any other wish. Alhamdullilah I have everything I asked for. Alhamdullilah. And the things I didn’t achieve was for my own interest and benefit. I realized it after a time. You will realize it too. Never get dis-hearten for the things you failed. Failing means you at least tried. Try, Try until you get succeed.