When my forehead touched the floor and the nose rubbed the ground, I felt all my worries and tension vanished. My head rested on the floor throwing aside all worries, fears and hopes, and focusing on the only One Who can help, who can forgive, who is Well-Aware of everything. I uttered Subhaana Rub-biyal-A’laa “Glory to my Lord the most High” when I was in my lowest position. I felt myself the smallest living being in the world. I felt smaller than an ant in front of Almighty Allah. My pride vanished. I started to believe that I don’t have to fear anyone except Allah who is the most glorious and most beneficial. I don’t have to be afraid of anyone else except HIM. No one can do injustice as long as I have HIS support.
When I recited “Surah Fatiha” (The Opener) after reciting “Sana” while doing Qayam, tears ran down my face as I concentrated on the words of Surah because now I knew what I was asking for or what I was begging for. I felt my heart was alive again. I could feel the softness building up inside me. My heart was beating fast. I wanted what I was asking for. I knew I am full of sins. I knew what I have done whole my life. I wanted the right path where God has granted his gifts instead of that path where there are hurdles and obstacles all in the way. I wanted forgiveness.
This is who I am turning towards today. My past is regretting. I used to pray because I thought it’s an obligation and I had to fulfill that obligation in anyway. I used fix time before starting to offer Salat. I considered Fajar as an interruption of sleep (God forgive). When someone praised me, I used to say Alhamdullilah thinking it’s meaning to be “I Thank God I did it!” instead of “I thank God because of whom I am able to do it”
I never knew that Salat is for my own benefit and the religion doesn’t need us instead we need it to live in this mortal world and to qualify the exam of this world and the world hereafter. I was blind.
How could you expect someone to grant you your wish or what you desire without the support of your LORD? How can you expect to be granted every wish without asking? How can Allah forgive you when you don’t ask for forgiveness? How many times I stood in Salah but my mind was not focused on Salat? How many times I prayed but the prayer was not heard because I didn’t fulfill all the required obligations?
Now at this moment when I am able to recognize some of my mistakes, I wonder what I prayed in my last 20 years was SALAT? Or what I am offering “now” is SALAT? Am I still on right path?
So to answer all my questions, I bow before my Creator once again, acknowledging the fact that only He deserves my sincerity, my obedience and my love. I again praised him and seek guidance, forgiveness and to escape from the bad consequences of what I may have done consciously or unconsciously. I asked him for the virtuous and righteous path. I asked him for the protection.
I now believe if He hadn’t chosen to create me, I would never have existed. I now realize worship is not only an obligation but a guidance to spend our lives that leads to success in this life and the life hereafter. I now know that we are created and granted a Holy Book to discriminate between right and wrong.
So I again rested my forehead on ground hoping God will provide me guidance and will show me the right path. I continued my prayer hoping that one day God will accept my apology and will grant me place in Jannah.
Verily God has granted us many ways to apologize and to clean our inner soul. The importance of Salah is like the bones in our bodies, without which we would not be able to walk or sit or do anything, because there is lack of foundation. Salah is there to strengthen our IMAN(faith) and purify our soul.
“Those that turn (to Allah) in repentance; that serve Him, and praise Him; that wander in devotion to the Cause of Allah,: that bow down and prostrate themselves in prayer; that enjoin good and forbid evil; and observe the limit set by Allah.- (these do rejoice). So proclaim the glad tidings to the Believers.”
(Sura Al-Tauba, ayah #112)