Delusions vs. BITTER reality


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“The world is not fair, and often fools, cowards, liars and the selfish hide in high places.”  -Bryant H. McGill

I was having a discussion with my friend discussing that people whether near or far from you don’t make any difference. This is because at the time of need, no one comes to rescue you. It is you who has to step up and do it while others keep trying to tow you down with their lip exercise known as “hawai firing” in our “desi zuban”. So what is the difference between a person who is sitting 10 miles away or 1000 miles away from you?  There is neither an advantage nor a disadvantage of that person. Now the question that would blow you out of the water would be “Do you mean we make friends or socialize for the sake of ADVANTAGES or DISADVANTAGES” Well, the bitter truth is “Yes” because no one is a saint. “Don’t you think you are being too negative?” If you see this as negativity then take it in as it is because it is a fact that is hard to indulge and the truth is always hard to endure. People usually say “negativity” or “extremism” to those thoughts which are difficult for them to admit. “Oh My GOD! How selfish can you get?!” Yes I am. Try to understand this!

Ask yourself some questions. What do you seek within a person? A personality? Looks? Nature? Attitude?  Will you go to a person that might not necessarily fit your physical standards in terms of attire or facial features for that matter? Or will you go to a person only based on your standards and your “version” of a decently suited individual with a well-organized impression. Well, just basically a dummy you could brag about.

If you have chosen the second one, which I know you have, then you have chosen security and a person with similar nature. This simply means that you already chose “your-type-of-advantages” in the very first step. When you realize that this person is not “my-type”, you will search for someone else until you will know that the person who was not initially my version of a friend turns out to be the person who will be there when the need arises.

Take another example, a friend asked you to do some work URGENTLY. You sacrificed so many things and did that one thing for your friend. The next time when you needed help and you asked that same friend. You were refused in response. What will be your reaction? The first response? The first click? “I did that for him, and he can’t return the favor?” These were very small examples to explain my point. It is human nature to pursue what is best for his/her own interest.

If a person is not seeking benefits then there wouldn’t be any clashes. No person would be leaving another for the reason of “being bored”, “nature difference”, or lame excuses such as “some complications”. It is human nature to exercise “tit for tat” and “give to get” principle. No matter how much you try to deny this. You’ll always end up expecting something tiny deep within the tiny place of your heart.

When a person becomes honest with himself and realizes this fact. When he starts realizing that no one can come to rescue them when they are stuck with their car middle of nowhere, when they have been in a fight with some BIG people and friends are afraid to interfere because they know it will be their life and death issue then, when he has to do something URGENT and last but not least when the time of death reaches. He then starts turning towards Allah. He knows that He is the Creator. He knows what HE has planned everything for him. Then the person asks Him knowing that if HE has created this problem for him then Allah must have planned its SOLUTION too.

The person own conscience differs and says “I know what your reality is, people don’t know your reality that is why they praise and like you.” Our conscience is that part of us that can never lie, you can’t bribe your own heart to lie about you. It is the most true, most sincere witness to who we really are. “

– Shaykh Kamaluddin Ahmad.

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Unexplained..


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Leave me quiet. Leave me alone. No, I don’t want to speak. I am good like this. Lips zipped. I don’t want to explain. I don’t want to clarify anything. Sometimes it is worthless to explain things. We feel tired of explaining. It is just useless. It is just known as ranting when you speak in anger. You throw bombs on others which don’t even explode. You utter words trying to explain things to people yet every little struggle you do to explain go in vein. Actually everything you say comes on you like a hoarded monster waiting for you to say a word and it will torture you with those words till you die. It is like digging grave for your own.

No use to make people happy when you know in order to make someone happy, you will have to offend someone else. This is life’s ritual or you can say custom of life. Everyone is dependent on other. If you think that you can do wonders on your own then you are wrong. It is your figment of imagination.

But what does it mean? You keep piling things on?? Waiting for the right moment to blow up? Meanwhile you keep burning inside? No, I don’t think this is the solution. Solution is simple yet we have made it difficult. We feel shame to do that act. We think this will make us small. But it is not like that. Take it in. Take everything inside. Clear all your mind and heart and bow down your head in front of Allah. Have brief conversation with The Almighty Allah. Who created you. Talk to Him. Tell him all the worries. Tell him, EXPLAIN him. And after elucidating EVERYTHING make HIM responsible to patch up things. Say it in your words “ALLAH do this for me” and believe HIM that HE will do and sit back, relax and see the magic.

Accept my changes!


How is it possible for one to oppose an act that is actually supposed to be implemented? How can one prove a right thing as wrong? How can one ask the other not to follow the right path?

Alhamdullilah, when Allah starts changing a person or shows him the right path, He gives him the courage to tolerate all the criticism that follows. He makes the person strong enough to fight for the right decision. He holds the hand of His creation and guides him through all the hurdles. The person automatically starts having a firm belief that he is for his Creator and not for anyone else. He is living this life to obey Allah and any one else can’t do any little thing to him.

He realizes that maybe today he is suffering but tomorrow he will get a reward much higher than what he is suffering today and that reward won’t be for limited life say 30 or 40 years but for the unending life hereafter.

These days I am going through that phase in which people are not able to accept my changes. I can’t make a list of things that I am trying to ignore or trying to eradicate completely from my life because there is no point of saying WORDS when one can’t ACT on it. There are many tensions and conflicts regarding me getting religious day by day but this is what I am now and they have to accept it in any case.

“Endless conversation about change is a barrier. Actually committing to doing something and then acting is what is required”- David Jakes

I know I was wrong and what I am today is what I should be. I remember the day when I took the first step to prosperity, I asked Allah to give me the courage and strength to stay firm on it and to provide me with tolerance to face all kinds of obstacles.Today I am far away from what I was. Alhamdulillah Allah changed me and showed me what is right. He protected me from evil. I know there is still more to go.

I am well aware about what is permissible and what is not and that if I turn my face against what is right;it will not leave me Muslim anymore but will make me Kafir. This is not what I say, this is what Quran says.

 “They wish that you reject faith as they have rejected (faith), and thus that you all become equal (like one another kafir).” (An-Nisaa’: 89).

Well I still face obstacles and I still loose hope but deep within me is something that pushes me to stand for what is right. I am struggling and I will keep struggling. I am already full of sins and don’t want to be more.

May Allah give me more patience and strength to face the hurdles and the obstacles. May Allah purify my heart. Ameen.