Allah Taala today was THE DAY. Ya Allah Taala, I don’t know how and why you chose this sinner to study your precious ilm. Ya Allah, you gave me such a big responsibility which I cannot thank enough of. Ya Allah, I don’t want to only study but also live each and every word of your deen ya Allah.
I don’t want to be the one on day of Qayamah who will come with Ilm but no amal. Ya Allah, these hadith sessions are just making me love You and Muhammad SAW more.
Ya Allah, today we studied one of the hadith in which Hazrat Muhammad SAW was sending Hazrat Muaaz RA to Yemen and he was giving him advices. Hazrat Muaaz RA was on his animal and Huzoor Akram SAW was walking with him. And once Huzoor Akram SAW was done telling him advices. He said to Muaaz RA that Oh Muaaz! Maybe this is the last time you are seeing me. And maybe next time when you come here, you will see my mosque and my grave only.
Ya Allah, just for a moment when I imagine myself in that position. Being with someone I love immensely. Crazily. I can give my life for that person and that person himself is sending me somewhere and I am going because of his command and I am submitting to his commandings. And now that very person is saying to me that you won’t be able to see me again i.e. he will die soon. Ya Allah, ya Allah. What feelings Hazrat Muaaz RA must have gone through. The time when you are about to leave and someone so special gives you such a big news! AllahoAkbar.
Hazrat Muaaz RA started to cry and huzoor Akram SAW turned his face in opposite direction. Why? Because Huzoor Akram SAW himself was afraid that if he will see hazrat Muaaz RA crying, he might cry too. Just imagine tge scene. Yaaa Allahhhhh….So much love! So much love!
And then Huzoor Akram SAW said to him to have Taqwa. Ya Allah, we also want to love you and your messenger immensely. The way Sahaba used to do. We also love you ya Allah. Give us Taqwa ya Allah. We never saw Nabi Kareem SAW but we love him, want to meet him. Wants to have water of hoz-e-kausr from his hands ya Allah so that we never feel thirsty again then ya Allah. Accept us ya Allah. Make us your maqbool Abd ya Allah. Drag us out of the sins. We are too weak. We are unable to do it. Shaitan always comes in between and then nafs takes over. Please take our charge. Please pyaray Allah.
When you try your best but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
High up above or down below
When you’re too in love to let it go
If you never try you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And… with this…
Yaad e maazi azab hai ya Rab!
Oh I cannot say the next verse of this because I have exams near 🤣🤭🙈
Ya Allah, today you again gave me chance to repent on my deeds. Ya Allah. You love me so much..yet I keep disobeying you ya Allah.
Ya Allah. I keep on sinning and sinning and still you give me toufeeq to stand infront of you. To do some khidmah of your deen. Ya Allah accept it from me. Ya Allah. I don’t want to be among those who on the day of Qayamah will have so many Ae’maal but those aemaal will have no weight and they will directly land in Jahhanam. Ya Allah save-me from hell fire. Ya Allah save-me from Riyaa, ujub, takabur ya Allah. Eliminate all the diseases of heart from my heart ya Allah. Ya Allah today I heard in bayan that there are some people in this dunya who does not even cry after committing sin then there are some who cry after committing sin and then there are those people who cry after doing good deeds because they are worried if their deeds will be accepted by Allah. Ya Allah. You and I know where does I belong. Ya Allah.
He also said, two things cannot reside in heart at the same time. Ya Allah, I am afraid to accept that dunya and its mohabbah is wayyy too much in my heart ya Allah that I can feel that I have made myself a living dead person. Ya Allah take me out from it. Ya Allah. I am sick and tired of hypocrisy ya Allah. Hypocrisy of my nafs. I am not giving Dhoka to anyone accept myself ya Allah. I don’t know what lazzat I get by doing sins.
Ya Allah, people think that I am too good but they don’t know my reality ya Allah. I am worst than an overflowing gutter. Ya Allah sometimes I want to just jhinjhoro-fy myself that what has happened to me. What is wrong with me. I am so sick of myself ya Allah. Just tired and sick of myself. And I have made myself like this. With my own hands. No pressure. Its my own intention. I am so disappointed with myself ya Allah. You can only save me ya Allah.
And you know what ya Allah. I do admit that no matter what ever I do. It does not satisfy my curiosity but enhances it more. Why? Because I know I am wrong. Ya Allah save me. Khuda please. Pyaray Rab. Please. You can do it only. Please
I want you and only you in my heart ya Allah. You are my sukoon ya Allah. Give me sukoon.
Allah Taala I need to talk to you.
Allah Taala I want to be close to you. I want to be yours. Allah Taala I say “La ilaha illal’lah” but maybe I don’t mean it. Ya Allah I really want to mean it. Ya Allah. I see so many people who don’t love you but is in Ishq with you. They are your true Aashiq ya Allah. Ya Allah why can’t I be your Aashiq?
The lady that day, she cried just because some na mehram accidentally saw her face. It wasn’t her mistake. It wasn’t intentional. It wasn’t anyones mistake. She cried. Not because of some pressure. She cried because she loved you crazily. Why can’t I love you so passionately ya Allah? Why can’t I cry when I do so many big sins intentionally. Why don’t I feel guilty Ya Allah. Am I not the worthy one? Or can I not be worthy ever. Ever?
Ya Allah today I was listening to bayan and Molana was saying that a person does sins and sins. He does not become guilty. He does not cry. Why? because his heart has become dead. Ya Allah, I don’t want a dead heart. Ya Allah I want a living heart. Heart full of your love. I need your love. I want your love ya Allah.
I cannot have my heart in peace until I submit to you 100% and Allah I do want to submit but I keep on sinning and sinning.
Allah Taala I don’t want to sin. I promise. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how my shaitan always wins. I have made my nafs weak ya Allah. Thats the truth.
Ya Allah. I am that child who is learning to walk ya Allah. I try to walk but then fall. Again I stand. Try to clean my clothes and then walk but again I fail ya Allah. Ya Allah, the way childs mother picks him up and holds his tiny hands and teach him to walk ; ya Allah please hold me also. Ya Allah. I give up ya Allah.
I give up.
Ya Allah, hold my hands and never leave me ya Allah. I don’t have anyone except you, ya Allah. You are the boss of everything. You can do anything. Put me on straight path. Don’t let me deviate ya Allah. Please. Drag me to straight path. I am yours ya Allah.
Give me sukoon ya Allah.
I am your sinner ya Allah
i surrender ya Allah
P.s Allah is bachay ko bhi sukoon dey dein. Yeh bhi aik imtehan hai.
May problems we face everyday
But there are lesson we learn along the way
Every step we take
Every move we make
Every thing we do
Allah is watching us
If we remember Him
He will remember us
In Him we put the trust
And that’s enough for us.