I will never forget this day maybe. Never. Actually if I be honest with myself, I don’t want to forget it myself. I am writing to record it.

It is like one week today since I am doing proper driving. Not to mention I never drove at night or say after Magreb. I stopped near Paradise for some medicines. I was with my mother. We were leaving the shop when the bomb exploded. Let me explain. It was HUGE EXPLOSION. HUGE. Within seconds dust was everywhere. Sky was looking as if someone lit lantern there. It was ajeeeb… Ammi was afraid. She was like “chaloo chaloo”. I was like “ammi ruk jaeen thora! Let it all cool down”.

People started shutting down their shops. The “all-laughing-area” became area of remorse. People were running. They were hitting each other. Everything got messed up. Everything was in front of me. Everything.

The first thing which came in my mind was little absurd, “What about car? Is it exploded with explosion?” The reason this came in my mind was because I parked little far away from the shop because of the congested area. And that “far-away-place” was near the place where bomb exploded. I was continuously asking ammi to wait, to wait, let everything cool down. But my typical ammi. “nae! Bass chaloo ghar chaloo!” I was like “yaar mujhay gari nahi ati chalani..Why don’t you understand!.. Everyone is in hurry. Everyone wants to go. If you have to die, you will die anywhere anytime. Just believe it!”

She was still “nahi nahi! Bas chaloo” ..  I said to myself “Wafa ammi is saying. Ammi ammi hoti hain”. I reversed.. ammi was like “speed do, bhagaoo”.. I was like “BASS! “ I know I screamed. But it was the only thing which I could do. She was on verge of crying. I had faced similar situations and I knew the only solution is to “cool down”. The only difference was all those times I wasn’t the driver and today I was the driver. A NEW DRIVER.

Next thing which happened was what I was expecting “Everything was JAM PACk” means we had to reverse. I hate reversing. And reversing in between so many cars was task! Seriously Allah is merciful. I was reversing when everything started clearing. And again I changed my gear to 1st.

Ambulances were everywhere. Sounds of ambulances were complete torture. Moreover, people who ever acting as “volunteers” were the one I wanted to slap; like TIGHTELY slap. They were hitting every car k “chaloo chaloo” ..I was like “aray kuttoo jab jaga nahi hai tu kahan say nikalooon!” and seriously it was not because I am new driver and I couldn’t see the space, actually there wasn’t any space seriously.

The dose I gave to ammi wasn’t enough I guess. So ammi said “Turn left, Turn left.. everyone is going there”. I had two options. Either I go straight for which I had to wait and second was to turn left and let everyone go. I took left. And boooo welcome the road to “Patel Hospital”. Though the road was clear but I knew these cars were going towards Patel. This was my decision to just STOP! I parked the car. Ammi was like chaloo chaloo… agay chaloo… I wasn’t sure if Ammi was showing “bachpana” or I was. I asked ammi to cool down.

We saw ambulances coming one after the other. Each carrying at least three people. And the way they were being carried was awful. There was an ambulance which had four patients. Two were on bed. Other was on floor of ambulance. His head was out of ambulance. Latka hoa. And the fourth one was lying on him. It was AWFUL. I swear.

Then we saw a man walking holding his head. He was full in blood. It seemed as if someone dipped him in pool of blood and took him out. I was seriously ashamed of myself. I wish I could have helped him. I wish.

After 10-15 min I reversed because ammi was watching all this and I knew it will stick in her head. I said to myself ”I have to do it”. So reversed and went again to the same road and BOOO! Another blast! This time I was like “I HAVE TO GO; THAT’S IT!” Alhamdullilah Alhamdullilah Alhamdullilah I know how I drove. I know how controlled I was. Kherr….

Today I saw what happens in these scenarios. What I don’t understand is why people do it. Like if I make assumptions here. Then,

  1. Party clashes ( Allah k banday! You are killing thousands just to take revenge!?)
  2. Jihad. (Is this Jihad? LANAT!)
  3. I am blank.

I dunno what else can be the reason. Whatever it can be. Its bad. Very bad. Please Fear Allah. All I can say.

P.s- Its now 2hrs since we r home. And I can notice ammi is still absent. She is watching news since then. I knew this is going to happen.

I still dunno I was the one acting childish or ammi. But I think it is ammi this time.



inna lillah ve inna ileyhi raciun

“Everyone is going to taste death, and We shall make a trial of you with evil and good, and to Us you will be returned.” (21:35)

Indeed, Allah’s promise will be fulfilled. The Death is something so inevitable, yet so very often forgotten. Each day that passes, each day we breathe, each day we spend our life doing sin or doing well leads us closer to the day we have to die; to the day we have to return to our CREATOR!

We show remorse and sadness when our love one or close one passes but what we learn from it? How we reflect it upon our own self? We think that death is at a distance from us and will not come until a SPECIFIC age. We talk about the average human life is, without thinking that is average not ours!

Indeed our time is closer than we can even think. Are we prepared for what is going to happen? Have our hearts become stoned to shed some tears out of fear of meeting Lord? What will you do? What will you say? What is life? An unpredictable reality; Today I am, tomorrow I am not. I am writing right now and I don’t know if I will be writing the next letter. What if I die the next second?

Why is that when one dies, they leave thousand questions behind? Why does one gain importance after dying? The same person greeting you, saying ‘HI’every day never gets your attention but as soon as he passes away, he becomes so important for you? Is this what the world is? People acknowledge your importance after you’re gone? Is this the place we are striving for? Is this the place we are living for? Is this the place which will be forever? Answer Is NO!

There maybe thousands of people you know and there may be very few that hold importance in your life. But believe me those unimportant ones are very important. I don’t know how to put it. I got a lesson today; never ever think someone is not important. Each and every person is equally important. You realize this fact when they are gone; when you lose them.

Our bodies are no doubt Allah’s entrustment to us. It shall depart someday.  May Allah rest everyone’s soul in peace. May Allah grant them place in Paradise Insha’Allah.

Inna Lila hi wa inna ilehi Raji’un

To Allah we Belong and to Him we Return


O Allah! Take my life while praying or in sleep. O Allah grant me honor to recite Kalma when I die. O Allah make my death a blessing not a curse. Verily, One day I have to come back to you! Protect me.