A note of a girl for her friend:
” I know what i am going to write may effect our friendship but what goes? It’s already enough affected.
I just wanted to express what I always tried to..but failed…I want to ask you what is my mistake? Why you are behaving like this? The reason I stopped interfering was because I didn’t want to make things complicated or you can say I never wanted to loose you!…but you used me, my feelings, my emotions! You got your way to leave everything!
I expected everything from you what a friend expects from the other yet i kept my mouth shut because you never wanted expectations! – but I expected so I admit MY MISTAKE!
But…now you are leaving me in a position where I can’t even decide between a friend or stranger! I lost all my trust! NO! I am not saying it’s your mistake..It’ s really not your mistake! IT’S MINE! I wanted to be like you! because it’s a fact! In friendship there is a word COMPROMISE which says “whether be like someone or make other like you” <kisi k ho jaoo….ya kisi ko apna bana lo!> I knew You won’t be mine ever..so I tried to be YOU!– MY BIGGEST MISTAKE! I lost myself in the name of FRIENDSHIP!! and now I am unable to find myself back! 😥
You are pulling away because you, yourself is afraid of getting too attached. Being close to anybody and to share doesn’t fit into your personality??? You are pulling yourself away from me because you want me to be like you–a stone! This is what you wanted to listen always–STONE!… because you think you are HARD! Then yesss listen! You are stone… you are EMOTIONLESS! FEELING-LESS!
But now you listen!
I always carve to hear ” Yes! you understand me” when i asked if I do! I wanted to listen “Yes! I care for you!” when you say “I never cared for anyone!” You always say you don’t have feelings… I showed you; you have! ..I proved you!! But… You never accepted me!!
I always tried to share your sorrows, to stand beside you… to listen “Yes! we are friends but what I listened is “I never know how to be a friend!!” —— no regrets! no complains!
Your each and every word still echoes in my ears! You must remember someone said “I always knew looking back on my tears make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on laughs would make me cry” It seems this sentence is made for me! The dinners we did together, the unlimited laughs we shared, the jokes we hit on each other…the daily reports which WE gave..are some memories which shows that we were friends! Before saying anyone anything..I just want you to flash back your memory..! and to know that YOU CAN BE A Friend! In fact You are an awesome friend!
In the end I admit!! I failed to understand you, to share your feelings, to read your mind…most importantly to maintain friendship! I AM SORRY!! I hope and I wish you meet someone who understand you, always stands beside you, give you all the happiness! But….Just one request, kindly tell my mistakes!!