I am a Stranger. You are a STRANGER.

I AM A STRANGER, YOU ARE A STRANGER

You meet people and they have an effect on you, but their presence in your life proves to be temporary. But then again, everyone’s presence in your life is temporary. It’s just that you expect some people to hang around longer than they do, and disappointment comes with setting up expectations.

You begin to enjoy their presence, look forward to their company, and next thing you know, they’re gone. You relied on their presence for a certain emotion, and you associated that emotion with them. You lose that emotion when it’s gone, and that emotion was a large part of you.

They were a large part of you because they became part of who you were. That’s the problem, we rely on people when we shouldn’t. We get attached when we shouldn’t. We fancy their presence, whether they’re a friend or a lover, when we shouldn’t.

We should enjoy their company for the time being, but it’s deadly when you get used to someone. It becomes a tragedy when they leave, because you allowed them to become a part of you. And nothing is worse than seeing them leave, because you’re watching a part of you walk away. 

And the only thing you can do is start over with yourself. But this time, grow on your own. Don’t rely on anyone else because everyone has a temporary presence in your life. Nobody can assure you how long they’ll stay. Nobody knows when their time will come, or when duty calls and they’re gone. Because as Ibn Taymiyyah says “Even your shadow leaves you in darkness.”

And after it’s all said and done, we go back to being strangers.

Everyone changes, and you’re not the same person you were yesterday. I’m not the same person I was an hour ago. I’ll look back at this, and I’m not who I was, when I wrote this.

Even I will be a stranger to myself, somebody that I once knew and was well accustomed to being around. If I don’t keep up with you and you don’t keep up with me, then we no longer know one another.

And we become strangers. And who knows, we might have been meant to be strangers all along. And you might have been sent to guide me and then depart.

I am a Stranger and You are a Stranger. That is the reality of life.

-inspired by TheMuslimMatters

Delusions vs. BITTER reality

“The world is not fair, and often fools, cowards, liars and the selfish hide in high places.”  -Bryant H. McGill

I was having a discussion with my friend discussing that people whether near or far from you don’t make any difference. This is because at the time of need, no one comes to rescue you. It is you who has to step up and do it while others keep trying to tow you down with their lip exercise known as “hawai firing” in our “desi zuban”. So what is the difference between a person who is sitting 10 miles away or 1000 miles away from you?  There is neither an advantage nor a disadvantage of that person. Now the question that would blow you out of the water would be “Do you mean we make friends or socialize for the sake of ADVANTAGES or DISADVANTAGES” Well, the bitter truth is “Yes” because no one is a saint. “Don’t you think you are being too negative?” If you see this as negativity then take it in as it is because it is a fact that is hard to indulge and the truth is always hard to endure. People usually say “negativity” or “extremism” to those thoughts which are difficult for them to admit. “Oh My GOD! How selfish can you get?!” Yes I am. Try to understand this!

Ask yourself some questions. What do you seek within a person? A personality? Looks? Nature? Attitude?  Will you go to a person that might not necessarily fit your physical standards in terms of attire or facial features for that matter? Or will you go to a person only based on your standards and your “version” of a decently suited individual with a well-organized impression. Well, just basically a dummy you could brag about.

If you have chosen the second one, which I know you have, then you have chosen security and a person with similar nature. This simply means that you already chose “your-type-of-advantages” in the very first step. When you realize that this person is not “my-type”, you will search for someone else until you will know that the person who was not initially my version of a friend turns out to be the person who will be there when the need arises.

Take another example, a friend asked you to do some work URGENTLY. You sacrificed so many things and did that one thing for your friend. The next time when you needed help and you asked that same friend. You were refused in response. What will be your reaction? The first response? The first click? “I did that for him, and he can’t return the favor?” These were very small examples to explain my point. It is human nature to pursue what is best for his/her own interest.

If a person is not seeking benefits then there wouldn’t be any clashes. No person would be leaving another for the reason of “being bored”, “nature difference”, or lame excuses such as “some complications”. It is human nature to exercise “tit for tat” and “give to get” principle. No matter how much you try to deny this. You’ll always end up expecting something tiny deep within the tiny place of your heart.

When a person becomes honest with himself and realizes this fact. When he starts realizing that no one can come to rescue them when they are stuck with their car middle of nowhere, when they have been in a fight with some BIG people and friends are afraid to interfere because they know it will be their life and death issue then, when he has to do something URGENT and last but not least when the time of death reaches. He then starts turning towards Allah. He knows that He is the Creator. He knows what HE has planned everything for him. Then the person asks Him knowing that if HE has created this problem for him then Allah must have planned its SOLUTION too.

The person own conscience differs and says “I know what your reality is, people don’t know your reality that is why they praise and like you.” Our conscience is that part of us that can never lie, you can’t bribe your own heart to lie about you. It is the most true, most sincere witness to who we really are. “

– Shaykh Kamaluddin Ahmad.