Step One.

Today I felt something.. Something grasping…holding me.. Giving me hopes.. “There is still a way out”.. “You can still do it”.. “Doors are open and you can come close”.. “Just struggle”.. “Bit more”.. “More than what you think you can tolerate because what you think of yourself, you have way more capacity than this”
Sometimes the “Satisfied feeling” gives me hope and sometimes a shiver. Afraid. Afraid of everything around. May Allah gives me courage to walk on straight path. To be steadfast. May Allah give me toufeeq to do tawakkul on him when the dunya is trying to convince me to trust, rely and depend on it.
O Allah! change me.



inna lillah ve inna ileyhi raciun

“Everyone is going to taste death, and We shall make a trial of you with evil and good, and to Us you will be returned.” (21:35)

Indeed, Allah’s promise will be fulfilled. The Death is something so inevitable, yet so very often forgotten. Each day that passes, each day we breathe, each day we spend our life doing sin or doing well leads us closer to the day we have to die; to the day we have to return to our CREATOR!

We show remorse and sadness when our love one or close one passes but what we learn from it? How we reflect it upon our own self? We think that death is at a distance from us and will not come until a SPECIFIC age. We talk about the average human life is, without thinking that is average not ours!

Indeed our time is closer than we can even think. Are we prepared for what is going to happen? Have our hearts become stoned to shed some tears out of fear of meeting Lord? What will you do? What will you say? What is life? An unpredictable reality; Today I am, tomorrow I am not. I am writing right now and I don’t know if I will be writing the next letter. What if I die the next second?

Why is that when one dies, they leave thousand questions behind? Why does one gain importance after dying? The same person greeting you, saying ‘HI’every day never gets your attention but as soon as he passes away, he becomes so important for you? Is this what the world is? People acknowledge your importance after you’re gone? Is this the place we are striving for? Is this the place we are living for? Is this the place which will be forever? Answer Is NO!

There maybe thousands of people you know and there may be very few that hold importance in your life. But believe me those unimportant ones are very important. I don’t know how to put it. I got a lesson today; never ever think someone is not important. Each and every person is equally important. You realize this fact when they are gone; when you lose them.

Our bodies are no doubt Allah’s entrustment to us. It shall depart someday.  May Allah rest everyone’s soul in peace. May Allah grant them place in Paradise Insha’Allah.

Inna Lila hi wa inna ilehi Raji’un

To Allah we Belong and to Him we Return


O Allah! Take my life while praying or in sleep. O Allah grant me honor to recite Kalma when I die. O Allah make my death a blessing not a curse. Verily, One day I have to come back to you! Protect me.



Ever felt what you are doing is wrong but you still persist in doing it? Ever wondered what is the force behind compelling you to do those things? Did you ever feel yourself out of your own control? Why always search for hope and hanging for what one can’t achieve? Why the hardest thing for one is to say how I feel, to explain what is hurting me, to ask for help? Why the people lie to themselves?

There are many times when you don’t understand yourself. You feel someone else inside you doing all the things. You pretend what you are not and you utter what you never mean to speak. The way you talk and do things go beyond your expectations and set limits. You are well aware of the consequences, yet you cross the limits. You astonish yourself by the act you perform. You do things that you once condemn. You lie to yourself saying there wasn’t any other way out or that’s the best option I could have chosen.

You deceive yourself and then weave web to tangle others in it. You lie to satisfy your own need. We lie about which we lie that we are not liars. We all are liars. We live in a world built on promises; constructed by liars. A person is known to be unpredictable and we prove it for ourselves too.

Remember no matter how big or small the lie is, in the end, it will remain a lie!  Stop deceiving yourself and others. Remove the veil in front of your eyes. STOP BLUFFING YOURSELF!

I admit I lied. I am a criminal. I did mistake. I am sorry. I am realizing it. I wanted a reason and now I got it. Won’t ever do this again because I won’t ever leave myself in this case. I have removed my veil and now I know IT’S OVER!