Ungrateful;unending wishes

Human nature is weird. Always ungrateful. No matter which state we are in, we are ungrateful of one thing or the other.

We are passing one phase of pur life and stepping on next; each day, new day, every second;new second but our thoughts are the same. Nothing new because we don’t want to see anything new.

This heart is not to be indulge in this world. This heart is like a ship. The ship will not get drowned If the water will be around the ship but if the water enters into the ship then it will get drowned. We have to sail in this world full of waves but cannot let water enter into our lives and water is our wishes. Unending wishes.


Another end.

Somewhere there are celebrations and somewhere there are mournings.

Yesterday night my dadi passed away. 31st March 2018.

(إِنَّا لِلّهِ وَإِنَّـا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ)

Kullu nafsin zaiqatul mout

And with this so many memories came back. How dada passed away.

Well. These deaths are reminder for us. We are near too. Our time is near.

These worldly delusions is taking us to opposite direction of our real purpose.

Ya Allah save us. If you won’t save us, we will be lost Ya rabbi.

Take us out of this messy shitty life with kalimah tayaba. Life with which you are raazi from us and we are raazi from you. Ya Allah make us among your muqaribeen. And with this duaa ya Allah, I surrender.

لا إلهَ إلا أنتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنْتُ مِنَ الظّالِمِيْنَ

Loving ahadiths.

Allah Taala today was THE DAY. Ya Allah Taala, I don’t know how and why you chose this sinner to study your precious ilm. Ya Allah, you gave me such a big responsibility which I cannot thank enough of. Ya Allah, I don’t want to only study but also live each and every word of your deen ya Allah.

I don’t want to be the one on day of Qayamah who will come with Ilm but no amal. Ya Allah, these hadith sessions are just making me love You and Muhammad SAW more.

Ya Allah, today we studied one of the hadith in which Hazrat Muhammad SAW was sending Hazrat Muaaz RA to Yemen and he was giving him advices. Hazrat Muaaz RA was on his animal and Huzoor Akram SAW was walking with him. And once Huzoor Akram SAW was done telling him advices. He said to Muaaz RA that Oh Muaaz! Maybe this is the last time you are seeing me. And maybe next time when you come here, you will see my mosque and my grave only.

Ya Allah, just for a moment when I imagine myself in that position. Being with someone I love immensely. Crazily. I can give my life for that person and that person himself is sending me somewhere and I am going because of his command and I am submitting to his commandings. And now that very person is saying to me that you won’t be able to see me again i.e. he will die soon. Ya Allah, ya Allah. What feelings Hazrat Muaaz RA must have gone through. The time when you are about to leave and someone so special gives you such a big news! AllahoAkbar.

Hazrat Muaaz RA started to cry and huzoor Akram SAW turned his face in opposite direction. Why? Because Huzoor Akram SAW himself was afraid that if he will see hazrat Muaaz RA crying, he might cry too. Just imagine tge scene. Yaaa Allahhhhh….So much love! So much love!

And then Huzoor Akram SAW said to him to have Taqwa. Ya Allah, we also want to love you and your messenger immensely. The way Sahaba used to do. We also love you ya Allah. Give us Taqwa ya Allah. We never saw Nabi Kareem SAW but we love him, want to meet him. Wants to have water of hoz-e-kausr from his hands ya Allah so that we never feel thirsty again then ya Allah. Accept us ya Allah. Make us your maqbool Abd ya Allah. Drag us out of the sins. We are too weak. We are unable to do it. Shaitan always comes in between and then nafs takes over. Please take our charge. Please pyaray Allah.

Fix you

When you try your best but you don’t succeed

When you get what you want but not what you need

When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep

Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can’t replace

When you love someone but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below

When you’re too in love to let it go

If you never try you’ll never know

Just what you’re worth

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

And… with this…

Yaad e maazi azab hai ya Rab!

Oh I cannot say the next verse of this because I have exams near 🤣🤭🙈

You are my sukoon

Ya Allah, today you again gave me chance to repent on my deeds. Ya Allah. You love me so much..yet I keep disobeying you ya Allah.

Ya Allah. I keep on sinning and sinning and still you give me toufeeq to stand infront of you. To do some khidmah of your deen. Ya Allah accept it from me. Ya Allah. I don’t want to be among those who on the day of Qayamah will have so many Ae’maal but those aemaal will have no weight and they will directly land in Jahhanam. Ya Allah save-me from hell fire. Ya Allah save-me from Riyaa, ujub, takabur ya Allah. Eliminate all the diseases of heart from my heart ya Allah. Ya Allah today I heard in bayan that there are some people in this dunya who does not even cry after committing sin then there are some who cry after committing sin and then there are those people who cry after doing good deeds because they are worried if their deeds will be accepted by Allah. Ya Allah. You and I know where does I belong. Ya Allah.

He also said, two things cannot reside in heart at the same time. Ya Allah, I am afraid to accept that dunya and its mohabbah is wayyy too much in my heart ya Allah that I can feel that I have made myself a living dead person. Ya Allah take me out from it. Ya Allah. I am sick and tired of hypocrisy ya Allah. Hypocrisy of my nafs. I am not giving Dhoka to anyone accept myself ya Allah. I don’t know what lazzat I get by doing sins.

Ya Allah, people think that I am too good but they don’t know my reality ya Allah. I am worst than an overflowing gutter. Ya Allah sometimes I want to just jhinjhoro-fy myself that what has happened to me. What is wrong with me. I am so sick of myself ya Allah. Just tired and sick of myself. And I have made myself like this. With my own hands. No pressure. Its my own intention. I am so disappointed with myself ya Allah. You can only save me ya Allah.

And you know what ya Allah. I do admit that no matter what ever I do. It does not satisfy my curiosity but enhances it more. Why? Because I know I am wrong. Ya Allah save me. Khuda please. Pyaray Rab. Please. You can do it only. Please

I want you and only you in my heart ya Allah. You are my sukoon ya Allah. Give me sukoon.